After days and days of research, what is left to be said? All you can is wait. Although the fight feels like its winning and I'm just stuck in a empty boat. I have to hang onto hope before my boat begins to not float.
All I did for past 6 days straight was spend many hours on the web. Researching the outcomes, and what could occur in the day ahead. The more that I researched the more my body forced it's power upon me and I was very prepare for what might be coming.
I realized that when I searched Spina Bifida it was a birth defect and it was something that can be mild to very severe. I was not excited, I was hurt, I was crushed. I didn't want this for my child. Anything that could be coming and this is not one thing I liked to read. I also realized I had this power within me that decided to tell me this is not what's wrong Kendra. Hang in there, you will know soon enough.
I didn't spend much time searching placenta abruption because I felt like it's something that they seem to chalk it up to. There is no evidence this is even the actual case. My body just also told me don't research this its okay. I know I felt like I should have spent more time with this because I had placenta previa with our last son. Although my body didn't care to read this information.
So, I moved on to the last and final thing. Gastroschisis. This was a very interesting birth defect that one could have. Chances were 1 in 1,800 births in America. That seemed to be pretty high if you asked me. Although this condition was something my body drew me into. I researched a lot on this. Surgery, Recovery, Complications, Etc. It's like I came to the realization this is what was wrong with our son and I was going to be okay with it. I sat and told my step mother, If something is wrong I prefer this. Its fixable, the baby will be fine. We can make it through this.
The wait was almost over. Less then 24 hours until diagnosis.
All I did for past 6 days straight was spend many hours on the web. Researching the outcomes, and what could occur in the day ahead. The more that I researched the more my body forced it's power upon me and I was very prepare for what might be coming.
I realized that when I searched Spina Bifida it was a birth defect and it was something that can be mild to very severe. I was not excited, I was hurt, I was crushed. I didn't want this for my child. Anything that could be coming and this is not one thing I liked to read. I also realized I had this power within me that decided to tell me this is not what's wrong Kendra. Hang in there, you will know soon enough.
I didn't spend much time searching placenta abruption because I felt like it's something that they seem to chalk it up to. There is no evidence this is even the actual case. My body just also told me don't research this its okay. I know I felt like I should have spent more time with this because I had placenta previa with our last son. Although my body didn't care to read this information.
So, I moved on to the last and final thing. Gastroschisis. This was a very interesting birth defect that one could have. Chances were 1 in 1,800 births in America. That seemed to be pretty high if you asked me. Although this condition was something my body drew me into. I researched a lot on this. Surgery, Recovery, Complications, Etc. It's like I came to the realization this is what was wrong with our son and I was going to be okay with it. I sat and told my step mother, If something is wrong I prefer this. Its fixable, the baby will be fine. We can make it through this.
The wait was almost over. Less then 24 hours until diagnosis.